23 Nov 2025 2 min read Wellbeing

When Worry Doesn't Help... Let Go of the "Rock"

A month ago, our three-month-old baby came down with the flu. She had nasal congestion, and we could hear it as she breathed.

We did everything we could—keeping her temperature normal, running a humidifier, giving her plenty of feeds, and making sure she rested. Over the following week, she never had a fever and was otherwise her usual cheerful self.

But that didn’t stop us (first-time parents) from spiraling into the “what ifs."
What if her breathing gets worse? What if we missed something??

Worrying Can Be Useful… To a Point.

Worrying spurs action on things we can control. But once we’ve done all we can, continued worrying no longer helps us.

Perhaps we thought that if we worry enough, we can somehow gain more control over the outcome. But all that extra worrying did not change the outcome whatsoever—maybe except causing us more anxiety and poor sleep.

But what people often forget (as we did) is that we have the power to stop those thoughts.

Imagine Holding a Rock

Recently, I came across a great analogy for anxious thoughts in a book by Gay Hendricks:

Imagine your worry as a jagged rock. You're squeezing this rock tightly, and it's hurting your hand. But you just grip it tighter and tighter, causing more pain.

Suddenly you realize, it's not the rock that has a grip on you... It's YOU who's gripping the rock.

You have the power to let it go. Just... drop it.

Release the grip. Thoughts disappear.

As my anxious thoughts spiralled, I visualized them as a rock and imagined myself dropping it. I felt better instantly.

But did that make those thoughts disappear forever? Of course not! When they returned a few hours later, I visualized the rock again and dropped it once more. Each time, I regained a bit more control over my mind, and a bit more peace.